The Hand That Could
by omgihatelifemorethanever
Summary: Miroku has become Sesshoumaru's maid service. Is Sessh a little too curious when it comes to Miroku's little uniform? Or is Sessh too obsessed with the harmony that comes when organizing his house. Can Miroku seduce the wiles of the youkai?


Miroku bent down, unrosarifying his hand, and began vacuuming Sesshoumaru's lovely tumbledown cottage with his cursed hand, making sure to take extra care under all the quaint wicker furniture that Sessh so lovingly collected. How's that for an introductory sentence, bitches. Sessh sat in one said wicked chair, watching the Houshi-sama bend over to suck dust bunnies out from under the armoire (incidentally, the focal point of the living room.)

"And don't fucking move any of my furniture," Sessh said with barely concealed anguish. "I am _very_ into feng shui."

Houshi-Masterpimp closed his hand in irritation and bumped his head on the armoire as he came up for air. "Let the beat control your body!" he screamed! They were currently listening to Enya, who is really very soothing, especially if you're taking a boobly bath in times of need. But Sessh was not boobling, nor was he needing… anything other than some hot ass!

And it just so happened that Mirokumaru (as he came to be known as the maid in Sessher's household of debauchery) had a hot ass. And not only a hot ass, but a _sweet_ ass as well. Sesshoumaru longed to caress said ass with enjoyment. And pleasurable feelings. Miroku's ass was much more shapely and full as opposed to a youkai who is not as sweet and pure as a monk.

This was all well and good, because Miroku had long harbored a secret magic crush on his sexamatastic employer. So when he accidentally tripped and fell onto Sessh and his clothes all accidentally fell off, it was all the better in the world, especially the poor starving chillinz.

Sessh gasped in utter delight. He was about to have his dreams come true, or at least some of them. "Suck my cock, you little cocksucker," he said as politely as he could, which was very politely.

"Oh, I have something even better, master!" Sessh liked the sound of that. He had always had a certain affinity for the "m" sound. Especially when Miroku was pulling Sessh's dick out of his big, poofy pants. Warm, virginal fingers caressed his shaft of love and romance, but then stopped to adjust the power meter on his black hole (kazanaa, for some of you fuckers out there) and then closed the black hole slowly over the youkai's magic sex wand (and yes, he is naturally white haired, if you know what I mean. His pubes are also very springy and curly and resistant to fire attacks).

Sessh had never before felt so invigorated, not even that time when he had some kung fu chicken (A/N: I think that's what that chicken is called. I had it at this place called Pei Wei and it was so good and I imagined that that must be kinda what it would be like if Miroku used his black hole to pleasure me, that is if I had a penis, which I don't, but I wish I did because then it would be easier to masturbate.)

Back to Sessh's magic hand job. So Miroku was fucking Sessh with the hole in his hand, right? And it was sucking with a pretty nice constant pressure and Sessh liked it a lot and then he came and there was no clean up because it was all sucked right into the hole! Like magic, or a curse or something, but I guess that kind of is a magic curse. But then! Miroku accidentally switched the switch to hyper sucky drive and it sucked in Sesshy's penis! They were both sad. But then Miroku turned off the sucky and Sessh reached his hand in and pulled out his severed giant penis.

He pulled out his Tenseiga and swiped it back to life, but it didn't reattach. He was sad. So the penis tried to comfort him because it came back to life, sillies!

Miroku's handsome legs. The penis came to be known as The Little Scavenger and it followed Sessh around to the end of his days. It was the best pet Sessh ever had because it didn't sass back and it didn't shed on the wicker furniture. Also, it liked to dress up in little outfits, especially the top hat and moustache combo from Target.

THE END


End file.
